Theatricality
by Squint-la
Summary: Deleted scene from The Jock, the Dancer, and a Not-So-Innocent Pixie. Kat gets theatrical...in her own unique way. Birthday gift for  Crazy Little Yaoi Fangirl.


"Kat!"

Kat Evans whirled around at the sound of her name, the black leather catsuit she wore making a loud squeaking noise as she moved. Kurt raised an eyebrow at her awkward-looking getup.

"That's the best GaGa outfit you could come up with?"

"Hey, watch it," she said jokingly. "I'm not the one in ten-inch heels."

"Well, that's true."

Kat smiled and continued to walk to the choir room. Kurt caught up to her.

"I take it you're ready for the assignment, then?"

"Yep!"

"What song will you be doing?"

"Oh, that's a surprise," Kat answered with a smirk. "It's unique, I can tell you that."

"I'm intrigued to hear it."

"You won't be disappointed!"

The two walked into the choir room a few minutes early. Mercedes and Tina were already there, chatting animatedly. Kurt sat next to Mercedes, and Kat crossed to the other side of the room. She took out a notebook and started to draw an octopus with wings.

The rest of the Glee kids slowly filed through the door, talking amongst each other. Rachel immediately sat next to Kat, much to the younger girl's dismay. She slipped her bizarre doodles back into her bag as Mr. Schue entered. Glee club was the one class that she didn't doodle through.

"Let's get things started here!" called Mr. Schue, trying to settle everyone down. Once the room was quiet, he continued.

"I see you girls are in your GaGa best." The girls (and Kurt) looked around, admiring each other's costumes. Kat touched the black crown on her head and grinned smugly. "That's good. Does anyone have a song for us?"

Kat raised her hand. "If I may." She pulled the score to Bad Romance out of her bag and walked over to hand it to Brad and the band.

"Go for it," Mr. Schue said, admittedly confused by her song choice, as the girls had already done Bad Romance.

Kat cleared her throat. "Okay, this-this is a Lady GaGa parody by a good friend of mine who goes by the name LittleKuriboh. I'll, uh...I'll let it speak for itself.

She cued the instrumentalists and began singing in a strange accent.

**Oh-oo-wo-oh-wo-oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho  
Let's take his leather pants!  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Let's take his leather pants!**

She smiled at the club's shocked reactions and started dancing to the beat.  
**Ha ha  
Ha ha ha  
Mwuha  
Ha ha ha  
Da la  
La la la  
We want his leather pants!**

**GaGa  
Rah rah rah  
Na na  
Fla fla fla  
La la  
Cha cha cha  
Take off his leather pants! **

**I'm getting ready  
My legs have been waxed  
Cause when we get them  
I am wearing your slacks  
Right on my tush  
Tush tush tush  
Right on my tush**

**Hey! **

**We want your trousers  
Your breeches, your chaps  
No, you can't get these pants from shopping at Gap  
Their service sucks  
Sucks sucks sucks  
It really sucks!**

Kat tried not to laugh at Kurt's "Preach!" reaction to this. She took on a slightly deeper voice to sing the next few lines.  
**You know that we want them  
And you know that we need them  
We want the pants!  
Your leather pants! **

She spun over between verses and grabbed Kurt by the hand, pulling him out onto the floor with her. His eyes widened and she smiled diabolically, trying to dance with him.  
**Me and Bakura  
We will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants!  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Me and Bakura  
We will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants!**

**Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Let's take his leather pants!  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Give us the effing pants! **

**Blah blah  
Blah blah blah  
Da da  
Pa pa pa  
Ya ya  
Mama mia!  
We want those leather pants! **

**We don't want vinyl  
Or chinos, or briefs  
I am a criminal  
And he is a thief  
Cause we're both hot  
Hot hot hot  
We are quite sexy **

She used the deeper voice to contradict herself.**  
Marik, that doesn't rhyme! **

She then shouted back in the other voice.**  
Shut up! I am Lady GaGa! **

**I have watched Psycho  
And I liked Vertigo  
The Birds was ok  
Ooo! I loved Rear Window  
By Alfred Hitchcock  
Cock Cock Cock  
We love Hitchcock!**

She spun Kurt around, and he quickly ran back to his seat, horrified by Kat's random moment of spasticness.  
**You know that we want them  
And you know that we need them  
We want the pants!  
Your leather pants!**

She gestured to Kurt, who glared angrily at her.  
**Me and Bakura  
We will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Me and Bakura  
We will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants**

**Oh-oh-Whoa-ah-ho  
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho  
We want those leather pants!  
No-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah  
Let's steal his leather pants! **

**Tah tah  
Mah mah mah  
Bah bah  
Wah wah wah  
Zah zah  
Vah vah vah  
Take off his leather pants! **

**Gah gah  
Rah rah rah  
Na Na  
Flah Flah Flah  
La la  
Cha cha cha  
I like these silly noises**

**Wear, wear leather baby, work it  
Move your tush, it's sexy  
Wear, wear leather baby, work it  
Move your tush, it's sexy  
Wear wear leather, baby work it  
Move your tush, it's sexy  
Wear wear leather, baby work it-  
I'M AN EVIL B*TCH, BABY! **

**We want your pants  
And we want our revenge  
We want your pants  
And they're really just friends!**

She gestured to Kurt and Finn, getting a laugh out of Mercedes, and she smiled.**  
Je voudrais son  
pantalon cuir  
son pantalon  
Why am I speaking French?  
Why am I speaking French?  
I don't want to be French!  
We want your leather pants!  
Take off your friggin' pants! **

**Me and Bakura  
We will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Me and Bakura  
We will have our revenge  
Him and me will take your leather pants**

**Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Let's take his leather pants  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh  
Remove his effing pants!**

She sat on top of the piano as she triumphantly sang the last verse.**  
Ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha  
Mwuha  
Ha ha ha  
Ga ha  
Ha ha ha  
We got the leather pants!**

After a long pause, the rest of the Glee kids began clapping slowly. They all seemed reasonably shocked by Kat's performance. She simply grinned and curtsied.

"Thank you, Kat," commented Mr. Schue, walking over to where Kat was standing. "That was definitely...theatrical."

"You're welcome," replied Kat, smiling. She quickly made her way back to her seat, stopping on her way to whisper to Kurt.

"We got the leather pants!"


End file.
